Faithless and Fallen
by Poppy2
Summary: He finally agreed to fight and she failed to understand or let him go, but as a disguised soldier she would somehow learn more about her regretful rurouni than she ever truly meant to discover all because of a war he shouldn't have had to fight. BKK
1. Chapter 1: Departure

(A/N) Those of you who already are familiar with me as an author may be saying, "Why is she starting another story if she can't even find time to update 'A Bittersweet Elegy'?" Well, I decided to take the ending I was originally gonna do for ABE and made it into a totally different story since I didn't think it tied in well with ABE. I'm really excited about this story and I think everyone that reads is going to be in for an interesting conclusion. If you aren't familiar with ABE, feel free to read it, I promise I won't mind ^_^. Also, reviews are greatly appreciated.  
  
Disclaimer: standard disclaimer applies... blah blah... I don't own anything except the plot.  
  
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Faithless and Fallen  
  
Chapter 1: Departure  
  
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She could hardly believe it. The words were mere rocks among the cliff in comparison to the multitude of thoughts and anxieties currently bombarding her poor mind as she struggled to comprehend the gravity of the situation. Kenshin was leaving. Again. And he was leaving to go to war. The sense in the matter eluded her completely and she was left to only gawk in dismay as he wandered about his room gathering his belongings into a small, manila sack.  
  
"So that's it?" she whispered tearing her gaze away from his busy figure to the lines in the polished floor. "You're leaving?"  
  
Her words were so soft, so somber that he barely heard them against the hastle of his hands moving to organize and arrange his few belongings, but when they reached his ears with striking clarity he muted his actions in honor of a fair response to the one woman that had kept him sane in his latest times of need. Still, he hadn't the heart, the will, nor the courage to face her as he answered in detached tones she hadn't heard since his preparations against Shishio in Kyoto when he'd voiced his slight irritation at her arrival.  
  
"I must go," he answered fingering an old, worn, navy gi between his hands before gently folding it and placing it in his sack. "It is my duty as a soldier from the Bakumatsu to protect what I fought and killed to restore, an era of piece in the Meiji." He could feel her cheeks heat in anger as she clutched her hands into fists at her sides and heard the soft stomp of her foot as she began to protest, but he silenced her before she could even start. "I thought you would have understood that better than anyone. It is my burden."  
  
Kaoru's next retort died heavily in her throat as she forced herself to choke the words down along with her pride at his indirect admonition. Instead of arguing, she worked to hold back the flow of tears that threatened to fall past the protective barriers at the corners of her eyes. Her breath shuddered at her effort while her shoulders straightened defiantly and her jaw set forcefully into alignment.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono," he offered softly, his fingers continuing to absently fold his few garnments. "I never meant for any of this to happen."  
  
His words were enough to upset the levy she had placed upon her emotions for the moment and unable to face the situation any longer, the circumstances any longer, she did what any imperious, youthful woman would do under the same pressure: she fled.  
  
~*~  
  
Evening found her on the porch of the dojo, a crisp zephyr causing her to shiver involuntarily from the cold as she leaned her frame against a column and allowed her arms to wrap about herself in some semblance of warmth. Sporadic tears continued to grace down her porcelain cheeks as her tired form succumbed to the last vestiges of her pride and fought any remaining sobs from racking her body for the moment. It wasn't right, crying alone in the sun's dying light about something that was beyond her reach, something that effected someone dear to her far more than it effected herself.  
  
But it still hurt, and as she sat leaned against her dojo's support structure, she reminded herself that she hurt just as well as he did about the situation if for different reasons. He was being forced to go against his wishful vow, she against her childish possessiveness. And while he may go on into war if only to die, she would go on in routine if only to live. Which was more painful, she dared not ask.   
  
Her bottom lip trembled either from the weather's chill or from her exonerated emotions and she sniffled to relieve the last traces of her crying. Life would prove to be unkind in the next few days to come, but she would learn that life moved on with or without someone, or somehow she hoped. Not that she wanted to live without Kenshin. In the past few years he had shared her home with her. She had grow to trust, enjoy, and love him as her unswaggering pillar of support in any time of need whether her problem be of substance or not... and he was leaving. Tomorrow after the hush of the morning's first, few, brazen breaths he would disappear into a culture of war and destruction she had never been directly exposed to, and so she had no chance of helping him, of reaching him. And that fact alone killed her as though it were she instead leaving to find the ravages and rape of war.  
  
Drawing her knees up, she hugged them tightly against her chest leaning her forehead into the newly provided nook. "How could I be so stupid?" she quietly asked herself as an unbidden sob tore from deep within her stomach.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
She was hardly startled when a deep, masculine voice met her rhetorical question. She'd known awhile back that Sano would soon make his daily appreance at the dojo for dinner no matter the mood the estate had recently taken and just so she didn't mind him hearing her reverie realizing she did in fact need some sort of source of comfort no matter how crass or emotionally retarded the provider.  
  
A soft sniffle met him first before she replied, "How could I be so stupid... as to think he'd stay forever?" She raised her pleading, sapphire eyes glazed and heavy in tears to gaze inquiringly at him as he took a seat beside her.  
  
"Ah, Jou-chan," he began rubbing a hand impulsively behind his head. "You didn't really think he'd stay 'forever' did you?"  
  
She sniffled again rubbing at the gentle cascade of tears streaming from the corners of her eyes before shaking her head. "No, but I never thought he'd leave so soon."  
  
"Aa," he affirmed gazing up to watch the brief outline of stars begin to shine through the dying light of day as night began to slowly settle in. "None of us did. But fate and us never were on great terms, ne?" He waited until he heard her give a soft, bittersweet chuckle before continuing, "He doesn't want to go, trust me. It's practically killing him that he has to, and you're not making it any easier on him with all of your moping about."  
  
Her glare immediately snapped to him, his seemingly callous words obviously triggering a bellicose response in her melancholy figure.  
  
"Woah, that's not what I mean, Jou-chan," he placated putting his hands up between them to ward off her anger. "I just mean that you have to try and look at this from Kenshin's point of view too ya know. Don't ya think he's hurting just as bad as you are? or worse even? He's the one having to go off to war. He's abandoning one of his beliefs to honor some old promise he made years ago. He might not kill anyone in the war with that sword of his, but it doesn't mean he won't see anyone else get killed or be killed himself. And while he may not value his own life he does value your happiness, and he knows well enough that if he doesn't return, it will cost you more than anyone else."  
  
With that said, he glanced at Kaoru folding his hands nervously behind his head as a sort of cushion. When she failed to say anything, he stood.  
  
"I ain't tryin to be mean, Jou-chan," he said shortly. "But I just think you should be there for him while ya can. He's leavin tomorrow and then there'll be no way for you reach him like you can now. Think about it." He spun slowly on his heel heading back toward the kitchen where he was sure Kenshin would be working to prepare a delicious feast as a parting gift to his friends, but before he rounded the corner and was gone from view, he decided to throw back over his shoulder, "You should also come in soon too. It's getting cold out and the last thing we all need is you getting sick now if ever." Then he was gone.  
  
Kaoru sat there comtemplating Sano's words for ten minutes before reality snapped back at her through the bitter gust of a strong breeze grabbing at the folds of her kimono. The tears had stopped and her mouth was set in its stern line, her entire body stiff with realization, but her eyes shown with a certain clarity that softened her entire posture as she slowly rose from her crouch against the dojo's column and began to steadily walk toward the sweet smells of dinner.  
  
~*~  
  
Dinner had been a quiet affair rounded only with minimal conversation usually between Sano and Yahiko and an occasional remark from Kenshin. The food had been delicious and well prepared, but Kaoru could hardly taste it as her thoughts wandered away from their small gathering to more imperative thoughts of war and Kenshin. When the table had been cleared and the dishes cleaned, he turned to her with a calm, kind smile she had seen numerous times before and her heart withered. That smile had been a commodity the past few years which she had enjoyed and selfishly taken for granted. After tomorrow, she might never see it again.   
  
Silently, she followed him back to his room as he began to continue his packing by gathering odds and ends. She watched, mesmerized by his simple movements until she found them almost drowsy in her mind. Still he worked slowly, methodically taking great care and deliberation in his every movement knowing fully well that she stood watching in the doorway.  
  
"Do you need any help?" she finally asked, her voice soft and uncertain in the room's quiet atmosphere.  
  
He shook his head while carefully folding the corners of his sack together to make a secure knot. "No, I'm finished."  
  
The statement brought unbidden tears to her eyes as she felt her throat convulse at the absolution in his words, but she cast them aside as best she could and stepped into his room heading for the small trunk he had used the past few years to contain his belongings. A small, violet scarf worn with age to a dark blue lay neatly folded on its top seemingly ignored. She reached for it and held it dearly between her hands kneading the fabric gently with her fingers and trying desperately to disregard the faded, crimson patches that littered a single corner.  
  
"You forgot this," she whispered to him turning to extend the scarf toward him. "Or did you not want to bring it?"  
  
His back straightened as he stood and he carefully walked over to her, treating the cloth with religious value as he gathered it in his hands and pulled it to his chest.  
  
"No, I'm bringing it," he said softly, turning his back to her as he went to pack it with his other things.   
  
She watched him hesitantly trying to place the scarf within her multitude of memories but failing to recognize it anywhere. "When did you get that scarf?" she finally risked glancing between his profile and the blue cloth gripped tightly in his hands.  
  
When he ignored her question opting instead to inspect the cloth in his hands further, she became a bit anxious. Her worry grew even more fearful when moments later his attention had diverted to the single, stained corner and his fingers began to stroke the worn splotches.  
  
"Did Hiko-san give it to you while you trained?" she ventured, a curious hint edging her voice. "Or did you pick it up sometime during your wandering?"  
  
"Iie."  
  
"Huh?" The response wasn't one of surprise rather one of interest as he continued to caress the cloth and slowly turned to face her though his eyes never raised to meet her own inquisitive stare.  
  
"Iie," he repeated. "I didn't get it from Hiko-sensei, nor while I was wandering." He turned once more until only his back faced her, the severity of the action creating a greater impact to his next words. "It's from my wife."  
  
"Oh." She looked away, tears forming once more at her eyes and threatening to make a path down her cheeks. It chilled her to think that it may have been her blood on the scarf.  
  
"Why are you going?" The question left her lips before she had even the slightest chance of restraining it and in that instant she wished she could take it back.  
  
His shoulders slumped further into his back as he sighed and made to turned to her, his voice soft, willing her to understand, "Kaoru..."  
  
"No!" she burst, her emotions no longer obeying her will for composure. "I don't want to hear it again! I don't care about your stupid promise! You shouldn't have to go, you don't HAVE to go!" A sob broke her speech and she paused to regain her voice, her tone mellowing with her emotions. "Why are you leaving me again?"  
  
"Because it is my duty." He spoke softly, willing her to understand. "You know that."  
  
Another sob wracked her body as a wry smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. "I know, but I don't care. I feel as though you may as well kill me before you go because I can't bear to see you leave again."  
  
"Don't say that," he said ina a slightly reprimanding voice. "Your life will go on with or without me. You know that."  
  
"No it won't." She sobered, her eyes red from tears, and she stared at the floor. "I'm not as strong as you are Kenshin," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear. "I can't bear the thought of sending you off to war. I dread that you'll never come back."  
  
"I will..." he tried to argue, but she cut him off.  
  
"And if you never come back," she paused, her eyes finally raising to meet his. "Then I may as well have killed you myself. And I could never live with myself if that were true."  
  
"Kaoru please," he said, closing his eyes and turning his head away to avoid her pleading stare. "You don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Of course I do!" she bit out vehemently. "It would be just like with Tomoe-san. Do you think..."  
  
"No... you don't know, Kaoru."  
  
The loss of the honorific in her name and the harsh authority in his voice caused her to cease her response either from fear, respect, or pure shock as he angrily threw the scarf down on his folded futon and turned to look her squarely in the face.  
  
"You're too young to know, too naive. There is no way you could know!" he shouted, his voice raising along with his temper.  
  
"Kenshin," she sobbed. "Why can't you understand..."  
  
"It's you who doesn't understand, Kaoru-dono." His voice had lowered to its usual forced politeness once more as he nervously shifted from foot to foot. When he spoke again, the underlying pain in his voice was all too evident to her focused, sensitive ears. "And I pray that you'll never understand. The sort of pain you're speaking about has nothing to do with emotional pain, that it does not. And you could never understand that kind of pain no matter what happened to you. I am leaving tomorrow, and I know you wish I could stay and it hurts you that I'm leaving, but that isn't the same sort of pain..."  
  
"Kenshin..." she tried to make him stop, but he refused.  
  
"I killed her, Kaoru," he broke out, his voice quivering with suppressed emotion. "Tomoe is dead, and I'm the one who killed her..."  
  
"I know, Kenshin, I know," she whispered falling helplessly to her knees as her body continued to convulse with rendering sobs.  
  
"No," he stated with harsh finality. "You don't know, Kaoru. The pain you speak of is one you will never know. Be glad of that."   
  
The sound of her quiet weeping brought him forward tentatively to kneel beside her. Gentle arms carefully pulled her into his strong embrace and allowed her the solace of crying into his waiting shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair rubbing a comforting hand against the base of her spine. "Really, I am. I don't want to go, but I have no other choice. Just remember that I am alive, and I'll survive the war for you. But please," and he emphasized the word as a broken request, "please, don't tell me you know what it feels like to kill someone you care about, because you don't. Please understand that. I might be leaving tomorrow, but you will be able to go on living without me, that you will. Because if I die, it would not have been by your hand. Remember that."  
  
"That's what you think," she said, her soft voice further muted by the cloth of his gi as she continued to cry into his comforting form.   
  
He clutched her to him cursing himself for putting himself and her through this until her whimpers slowly began to dwindle in intensity and then ceased all together, synthesizing into the steady rhythm of her breath as she softly slept. He didn't enjoy having to talk down to her or to reprimand her, he thought as he shifted her limp form between his arms and lifted her as he padded down the corridor to her room. He gently laid her on her own futon and pulled the sheets securely about her diminuitive form while watching her seemingly peaceful slumber. Such innocence should never be introduced to the violence of war nor the depression of death, he decided. He prayed she would never have to kill for any reason, and he prayed he lived if only to spare her from the pain of his passing. With a gentle brush of his lips against her forehead, he left Kaoru to her dreams.  
  
That night, Kaoru dreamed of war and death. A crimson battle painted against the glory of a decaying horizon, and in the center she saw herself kneeling before a pair of men. A bloody sword fell from a limp hand as Kenshin's body fell into her arms and another nameless man fell away from them already slain by a sword. It was a haunting image, one that would daunt her for several nights to come, and when she awoke late the next morning... Kenshin had already left.  
  
~*~  
  
(A/N) hmmm, a bit sappy, ne? Anyway, leave a nice little review and I'll try to make sure that the next few chapters write themselves quickly. Thanks for reading!! 


	2. Chapter 2: Recognition and Decisions

(A/N) Sorry it took so long to update. I have enough drama in my life right now to power a city for a week. Thanks for sticking with me and all those wo reviewed, I appreciate it alot. It really lifted my spirits.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Faithless and Fallen  
  
Chapter 2: Recognition and Decisions  
  
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Yahiko groaned sliding his bedroom's shoji closed behind him before he went in search of food. The past few days had not been kind to him in the least and all he cared about this morning was eating a decent meal and training hard until he had to go work at the Akabeko. His small, calloused hands ran steadily along the wooden fissures of his bokken while carrying it at his side almost mindlessly. Kenshin left yesterday before any of them had woken up. He could understand the older man's reasoning for making such a hasty, silent departure, but he still wished he'd had the chance to say good-bye properly before his role model left for who knows what.   
  
And Kaoru... Kyoto had been an upsetting misadventure, but this? He hadn't the slightest idea of what to tell his sensei now that sensible hope was running thin and scarce. He couldn't tell her to chase after the rurouni as he had when they knew exactly where he went. War was a different matter altogether, a different entity that none of them knew first hand... not even Sano. War embodied the personified line between the living world and the dead with bloody hands that screamed and writhed in time to the carnage surrounding it. And in war, Kenshin would be in his element. And as the pinnacle of bloodshed and massacre, the Battousai would emerge from the pits of hell and from the dreary depths of Kenshin's mind. And he would once again reign supreme.  
  
There was nothing Kaoru could do for him now once the rurouni met his first primal battle. There was nothing any of them could do but hope and pray that he never meet a foe he was incapable of fending himself from or that he never met battle at all. Yahiko sighed half-heartedly. Life was an ugly bitch that made even his busu look attractive.  
  
He stopped immediately in his tracks when a soft air currently alighted on his hand alerting him to the slight opening in Kaoru's door.  
  
Busu.  
  
She'd taken his departure the same as she had when he left for Kyoto, except this time it seemed to hurt her even more. She'd awakened like the rest of them had and dressed before going to the kitchen expecting her red-haired rurouni to be standing there preparing the morning meal as he usually did despite the occasion. Instead she was greeted by the cold light of a young morning shining in from the window and a previously made meal placed neatly on the table waiting for them to consume. The cooking utensils and pots were hanging on a rack already dried and the heat of the meal had long since grown faint.   
  
Needless to say, Kaoru became a wreck. Her time between that morning and this morning had been constantly spent in bed and not even visits from her friends could arouse her. A small chill raced down his spine involuntarily thinking about it. Four days later and she still hadn't moved from that spot on her futon, nor taken any meals. It wasn't healthy. Every damn time he tried to go in there and talk to her, tried to get her to eat she would just lay there like she'd never heard him at all just staring off into the corner with the most somnolent expression he'd ever seen. Eventually he would force himself to leave no longer able to bear the sound of her rasping breaths or the sight of her thin tears that occasionally gleamed across her cheek anew.  
  
He shook his head. It was too much for the girl to take, he admitted to himself. He was hardly faring any better himself. Pushing the door open slightly more, he glanced into the room expecting to see the outline of his surrogate sister's body against the foreign light of the outside world. Instead, his eyes skimmed over her neatly folded futon and sheets set carefully against the wall in her room. His eyes widened a fraction and hope beat excitedly with his pulse.   
  
"Kaoru," he called moderately checking to see if she was anywhere close by.  
  
When she failed to answer, he moved on examining the kitchen and dojo for his missing sensei before walking back to the gathering hall, his mind a bit perplexed over the girl's location. Surely she wouldn't wander away from the dojo so soon after her episode.   
  
Hushed voices wafted to his ears as he padded lightly along the main corridor heading towards the front of the house. He could distinctly recognize Kaoru's soft voice amongst the whispers accompanied by another, gruffer voice that registered in his mind like the sound of a rusty nail grating on rock. Quietly he listened as his feet softly brought him closer to the conversing pair.  
  
"He left four days ago, eh?"  
  
"Aa."  
  
"He didn't describe why he was leaving so soon did he perchance?"  
  
"No, he just explained why he was leaving."  
  
A low, sneering chuckle grated from the man's voice as he replied, "And why might that have been?"  
  
"He needs to fulfill his duty," Kaoru calmly obliged, her voice weak from days without nourishment. "He said that atonement was necessary, but for now, not even he can deny what fate is pushing him to do. I understand that."  
  
"Mmmm, so he is willingly unleasing the Battousai upon humanity is he? Interesting."  
  
"I'm not sure if that's what he's planning."  
  
An acknowledging grunt and the pair fell silent for a moment, neither moving or saying a word. Curiously, Yahiko peered around the corner, his eyes widening in slight fear as he gazed straight into the smirking, yellow eyes of Miburo. He felt himself begin to take a step back in retreat when Kaoru's pleading voice stilled him.  
  
"Come here, Yahiko," she said almost too softly for him to hear. "Saito-san has been so kind as to explain parts and pieces of Kenshin's situation to me. You may listen also if you like."  
  
He glanced between her calm smiling face sitting politely at the edge of the porch in front of Saito to the smirking wolf himself standing idly in the yard a few feet from Kaoru. With a resigned sigh and a hesitant nod, he stepped forward and perched himself beside his master watching the golden stare before him with the wariness of a cornered mouse in a viper's layer. When he was secure in his seat, his head leaned slightly against his chest with his eyes lowered as a respectable samurai would be accustomed to sitting in the presence of a guest at his house, she spoke again explaining the situation.  
  
"Kenshin's heading for the general forces at Aomori. They are having a few weeks grace period to allow more soldiers to join before they move to the fighting in Sapporo. It's a war of the survivors of the Bakumatsu, right Saito-san?"  
  
"Mn. Many of the Shogunate supporters have been displeased with the Meiji era and wish to once again restore the Shogun. Unlike all the small rebellions we've seen before, this one is major since the government has failed to catch onto it for years. It's grown a formidable strength," Saito said digging his hand absently into his pocket and fidgeting a moment with the contents there in.  
  
"Sapporo," Yahiko whispered to himself. "That's all the way in Hokkaido. Why would the Meiji need a man like Kenshin to travel all that way when he no longer is directly important to the cause like he was with Shishio?" His voice slowly began to raise as he spoke, the tremor slowly dissipating with his mounting anger. "Why don't they just send you?!" His small hands clutched tightly at his knees as he seethed, staring the wolf coldly, defiantly in the eye.  
  
"This isn't a war like the one with Shishio," he replied calmly, his hand slipping mindlessly from his pocket and depositing a single stick in his waiting mouth. He lit it wordlessly as his audience waited impatiently for him to continue. "If anything, the war against Shishio had nothing to do with Battousai compared to what he's being called back to do now. This is a war for honor and pride, not a war for power. There's an extreme difference brat. Most of these men are associable powers of the Bakumatsu unlike Shishio who only came about at the end of the Shogun reign."   
  
He took a deep drag on his cigarette as his amber eyes momentarily closed picturing a long forgotten scene in his head. When he spoke again, his voice had lost its strict bitterness and replaced it with an odd, melancholy timbre that resonated like a ship against a current, and all the while he refused to look at them. "You don't know the type of men that have made themselves known in this oncoming battle. And it will be a single battle, none of these men will relent until one side is dead. They are all too sore to retreat at any turn and too anguished to relinquish any mercy. It is all or nothing. You have mildly experienced the anger of these men, of these players, but you hardly know what they are, what we are."  
  
"We're animals, Myoujin," and at this he opened his eyes to glare immediately into the affected stare of the boy trying hard to continue his nonchalant disposition. "We feed off of fear and vengance alone, and when that craving is not fulfilled we go mad. Your stupid rurouni may have found his solace as a wanderer, but he is still Battousai, and you have yet to know what that truly means. And you have yet to know the true nature of Aku Soku Zan. And you have yet to understand the Bakumatsu. You've never seen nor felt the wrath of the Bakumatsu or its players. Players like Jinei Udo, Sagara Souzou, Takimi Shigure, Takatsuki Gentatsu, Soushi Okita, Shinsaku Takasugi, Saito Hajime.... Hitokiri Battousai-"  
  
"And Shinomori Aoshi," a voice quietly added behind Yahiko.  
  
Startled, he turned to see a small, ebony haired girl seated silently behind him, her head bowed respectfully and her hands occupying themselves with the end of her braid in her lap. He eyed her curiously as she sat patiently waiting for the conversation to commence once more as it had before, but that would have to wait just a moment longer. Yahiko was notorious for getting off subject, after all.  
  
"Hey what are you doing here, weasel?" he burst without thinking. Her quiet demeanor shocked him all the more as his jab failed to shirk the girl of her composure.  
  
"Aoshi-sama left the Aoiya over a week ago, so I came to ask Kaoru-san and Himura-san to help me find him," she answered softly never averting her eyes from the boards on the porch.  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Misao-chan arrived earlier this morning. When she told me what happened I figured that he had decided to go with Kenshin to Aomori." Her face suddenly looked more solemn as she thought a moment before considering Yahiko again. "It's true, Yahiko. All of the surviving warriors from the Bakumatsu are readying for another war."  
  
Yahiko's eyes widened considerably as he glanced between the stoic faces of all three of his companions, but none of them conceded even a whim of lying. It couldn't be; but if it were, than...  
  
"Why aren't you there?" he challenged haughtily leveling his stare with the dangerous gleam of Miburo's.  
  
"Because I came to see if Battousai had come yet or not," he replied, the annoyance in his voice extremely evident. "Besides, my position in the entire affair is rather threatening."  
  
"What kind of an answer is that?" Yahiko spat clenching his fists and looking for the world as though he wanted to plant a firm punch in Saito's face right about now.  
  
"A good one," was the only answer he received as the wolf tolf a final drag of his stick and threw it to the ground.  
  
Kaoru watched in mild disgust, her brow furrowing as she contemplated the entire scenario. "I think I understand," she began watching his face imperviously. "You were a captain of the Shinsengumi during the war, but now you're an officer of the Meiji police force. Your loyalty is split between the sides."  
  
Giving a momentary sneer he chuckled quietly to himself, "My, my... what a perceptive little tanuki."  
  
"So what side do you plan on taking, Saito-san?" Misao asked, her jade eyes finally rising to blink inquisitively at him.  
  
He grunted reaching into his pocket for another cigarette before realizing to his muted horror that the cartridge was empty. He sighed to himself and bitterly retorted, "And what difference does that make to you, weasel?"  
  
"I only want to know if Aoshi-sama will have an ally in you or not," she replied in the same quiet voice as before. "I just want for him to come back safe."  
  
"Mmm," Kaoru eagerly agreed. "I want Kenshin home as soon as possible too."  
  
Saito looked between the grieving faces of the two girls and the angry scowl of the brat, a quandry slowly seeping into his thoughts. "You know they'll be the greatest targets for the enemy, so in all reality it doesn't matter what side I'm on anyway. I doubt they'll even make it home alive, much less unscathed. Every Shogunate supporter will be writhing with greed to show the head of Battousai spiked on the edge of their Katana as they displayed it to crowds." He paused and watched as Kaoru's face paled and her eyes shimmered with fearful tears. Her stare had long since been averted to a lone point beyond him as she sat there dazed. He glanced to the other girl sitting behind the first and battling to suppress her silent sobs as she thought. He saw her briefly glance up at him and used it as his queue to continue.  
  
"And I'm sure many war lords would salivate at the oppotunity to burn the leader of the Oniwabanshu that kept them Edo castle. Hara kiri is not an option expressed in this war, it is a mercy that all are willing to forgo. This, children, is the Bakumatsu."  
  
Yahiko glared angrily at the ground as the silence following Saito's speech prevailed into long minutes and no one moved. Then the wolf spoke again, and his words held the same curtness that they were all used to hearing.  
  
"Since Battousai is not here, I have no reason to stay." With that he spun on his heel and with slow measured strides advanced toward the gate of the establishment.  
  
"Wait!" Yahiko shouted surprising even Saito at the command in his voice. When the interest in the older man's stare had bore enough into his figure that he felt he would melt an instant later if he didn't speak, he began, "You never told us what side you were planning to take."  
  
An unnerving smirk etched across the older man's thin lips as he turned to face them again. "Haven't I already told you all that I don't plan on allowing anyone else to kill Battousai than myself? And I always protect my interests."  
  
A great sigh of relief was released from the spectators as they continued to watch him standing by the gate. Kaoru fidgetted nervously with her fingers, whispering almost imperceptively, "I would do anything to keep Kenshin safe."  
  
"Hai," Misao agreed. "Anything for my Aoshi-sama."  
  
Saito raised a slender eyebrow at her remark and prodded, "What do you mean by anything?"   
  
She raised her gaze a moment to stare back at him hopefully before her face took on a defiant gleam and her eyes danced with resolution, "I do anything. I would fight his battles for him, fight this war to secure his coming home."  
  
He watched her a moment, studying her resolute face and examining the proud protrusion of her chest. An eerie feeling swept down his spine chilling each vertebra with a sense of foreboding. The tanuki was planning on something, thinking it through impusively. He could clearly see it through the transfixed stare in her eye. Despite it all and the possible danger it could thenceforth put her and himself in, he dared not ask. Instead he turned once more and opened the gate stepping halfway through before glancing one last time at her.  
  
"I'm sure you would do anything to protect, Battousai. But don't let your feelings for him impare your better judgement, tanuki. This is a war, you still don't understand what that means, and with luck you never will. Be grateful that he has gone to fight for you. Both of you," and he peered at them menacingly waiting for one to cringe, but as he suspected neither girl yielded. "I'm leaving later in the afternoon after I've finished some paperwork at the station. If you have any last sentiments for me to relay to Battousai or Shinomori, give it to me before then."   
  
He turned quickly out the door careful to not meet either girls' eyes. He was gone not a moment later, the gate closing behind him with a loud, sound thump. All three sat silently, each brooding in their own thoughts before the stillness was interrupted by a certain rooster entering the same gate Saito had just exited. He gave them all a lazy smile and patted his empty stomach laden with bandages before the whole mood of the Kamiya residence finally pervaded through his skin. He looked quizzically at them all before rubbing a hand awkwardly behind his head.  
  
"Hey, what's up?" he began perplexed. "Why's everyone out here looking all funny?" Sano glanced to Yahiko who still sat on his knees clenching the material of his hakama with frightening strength. "What's wrong?"  
  
In a single, swift movement, Kaoru rose to her feet and with quick, hastened movements started down the corridor toward her room. "I'm leaving today, Sano. Please watch Yahiko and the dojo for me."  
  
"What?!" came the unanimous reply of the waiting three. They all rose to their feet and chased after her standing at her door as she hurriedly began to gather her gis and hakamas into a manila sack similar to Kenshin's.  
  
"Where are you going and why can't I come?" Yahiko asked angrily glancing at Misao for some indication of what was happening. The girl merely gawked in confusion as her friend continued to gather her possessions.  
  
"I don't want you getting hurt," she said monotone and after a second slowed her motions visibly. "I'm going after Kenshin."  
  
"Jou-chan, you can't-"  
  
"Yes I can!!" she shouted, tears gathering at her eyes as she rushed to commence her packing. "I can't let him be out there alone. I can't let someone kill him because of a grudge they've been holding for years!!" Randomly she took a book beside her dresser and threw it angrily at the wall. "I CAN'T!!"  
  
Sanosuke and Yahiko gawked at Kaoru's frenzied demeanor looking cautiously to Misao asking silently for the young girl's help. With slow, fluid steps, Misao stepped forward and calmly began to take various objects and place them delicately in Kaoru's sack. The older girl relented a moment staring curiously at the back of Misao's ebony covered head.  
  
"I'm going with you."  
  
Turning her head, Misao's green eyes met the azure stare of Kaoru's. They smiled quietly at each other, an understanding obviously sealing their intentions and each began to work anew.  
  
"I don't believe this," Sano sighed to himself rubbing a strong hand over his face in exasperation. "I can't let you two go off on your own into some war where you're bound to get killed."  
  
"Then why don't you come with us?" Misao asked nonchalantly as she placed a few more items into Kaoru's sack.  
  
Befuddled, Sano merely watched the pair a moment longer before growling. "I guess I'm gonna have to," he said digging his hands into his pockets.   
  
"I'm coming too!!" Yahiko intervened angry to be kept out.  
  
"Stay here Yahiko," Kaoru beckoned softly.  
  
"Why do I have to stay?!" he yelled back indignant. "You all are going!!"  
  
"Yahiko," she continued, her movements ceasing as she directed her full attention on him. "Please stay. I'm worried enough about Kenshin being involved in this whole war. I couldn't bear to have you involved in it as well." A lone tear drew down the side of her face as her eyes pleaded with his to understand. "Please... stay."  
  
"Oi, Busu," he slowly surrendered observing the play of emotions pass over her face as he stalled. "Fine, I'll stay, but only if you promise to bring Kenshin back."  
  
"I promise," she happily agreed smiling softly at him. "Arigato."  
  
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I hope to update soon. I'm sorry if some of this seemed stilted. Please review and thanks again to all those who did review!! 


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